Tuesday, 17 July 2018

Dear America

A couple of years ago, when we were burgled, the police ran down the culprit. They found his fingerprints on an inside window pane. They obtained CCTV footage of him buying bottles of booze from a convenience store with my debit card. They found him with stolen goods in his possession. He was, to put it mildly, a notorious habituable offender. And he was caught red-handed. Bang to rights. An open and closed case. Beyond any reasonable doubt.

I gave a statement of course. Imagine, for a moment, that I declared that I'd spoken to the 'alleged' burglar, and he had assured me that he wasn't responsible. Not me guv! He denied it. Powerfully. Now I'm not sure if I was even burgled to start with. I mean, I didn't use to get on with the burglar. But now, well we're just dandy. What inference would be drawn from this type of behaviour? The police would, quite rightly, investigate the burglar for interfering with a witness.

So, dear America. You really need a new president. As a matter of urgency. Waiting him out till twenty twenty just isn't good enough.

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