The Etihad Experience

There’s a lot of phrases relating stress to physical weight. A weight off my shoulders. The weight of the world on my shoulders. Etc. And I can now tell you exactly how much weight is required for something to become a stressful event. It’s 7.1+kgs. Allow me to explain. I booked our flights to and from Indonesia with Etihad. They had two selling points that trumped all other options. Price. And a heavily subsidised 3 night stop over in Abu Dhabi on the way back – we stayed at a rather grand 5* hotel for less than half the going rate.

I booked Basic Economy tickets, which comes with no checked-in luggage and a pretty miserly single 7kg cabin bag – no personal bag allowed. Everything must go in that one bag. I did this because there was a change of planes in the Emirates on the way there, with only an hour and 20 minutes between flights. That’s quite tight. Would the handlers get our bags off the ginormous A380 and across to the 787 in time? Why risk it. Anyway, I figured that we could pack uber-lite and just buy clothes in Jakarta and still save money on the cost of paying for checked luggage.

I began to have concerns a few days before departure when I eyed up Mrs P’s bag, a pharmacy’s worth of toiletries, the bulging zips, the mountain of stuff yet to go in. We had discussions. I searched online forums – Etihad has a reputation for being strict with cabin bags and weighing them. More discussions. But we left home with each of us comfortably over the 7kg limit. I had a plan for my bag – I could jettison a kilo or two of clothing and pocket some electronics. Mrs P’s plan? Let’s not go there…

In the event, we boarded at Heathrow without a problem. That quite tight change in Abu Dhabi left little time for strict bag checks. And on the way back, we boarded at Jakarta without fuss. By now we were both at least 5kg over in the cabin bags and were also packing extra shoulder bags that were likely another 7kg. In short, we were being terrible, disobedient, rule breaking customers. But we did enjoy that luxury three night stopover in Abu Dhabi.

Three of four legs done. Just the last one to go. We rocked up at Abu Dhabi’s fabulous, futuristic airport at 6.30am. Digital boarding passes ready to go. We hit security, scanned the QR code, and ….’where are your bag labels?’ The man at the barrier would not let us pass. Fellow fliers behind filled us in. Etihad weighs all cabin bags at check-in – even if you only have cabin bags – and then puts a tag on the bags. And you can’t get past the first security checkpoint without the tags. We were rumbled. And stuffed. Heartbreak. The stress of 7.1+kgs had been weighing heavily on our shoulders. An uppity check-in person was about to take that burden of us. Why not pay for the bags, do I hear you say? The cost would have been nearly £500 each. You just wouldn’t pay. You’d throw stuff in the bin and replace it with new stuff at half the price back in Blighty.

We headed towards the long queue of passengers at the check-in desk. But I had an idea. One last throw of the dice. Every now and then a chap in a brown Etihad suit would stroll by. I paused and waited a moment. And then grabbed one of them. Gave my best performance. “That chap says we need a tag? Won’t let us through. What tag? We’re awfully late for our flight, we didn’t know…” 

Brown-Etihad-Suit man paused. Then strolled ten feet over to an empty, unmanned check-in desk and returned with two bag tags that had been lying loose on a counter. He stuck them on and away he went. He never said a word. But still, he remains our favourite Etihad employee of all time. We whizzed through security, showing off our sneakily obtained bag tags with just a bit of glee. We’d got one over on The Man. Hurrah! I noticed at the gate how no one had a bag of any size. I overheard a chap on the plane, in the toilet queue, grumbling at having his cabin bag checked-in at ridiculous cost. We were, to say the least, very very lucky…

I’ll finish with a final few observations about the flight. Etihad were lovely to fly with. The amenity bag was a step above the norm. Dinner was served with metal cutlery! The seats and screens large and comfortable on every leg. Two full days in Abu Dhabi was enough, without going to the parks. And the Airbus A380 – this was my first time on one – is an absolute dream to fly in. What a fabulous plane. And never again will I book a long haul flight with just a 7kg cabin bag….